Nikol

What is it like to be a single parent?

It is everything that you would imagine a single parent to be. I have really great daughters. I try to instill great moral values in them. I try to always gauge their moral compasses and I'm just here to help them and to facilitate their path. So, in all of that, it's takes a lot of energy and it's draining at times. For me to find time by myself and to recharge, it takes time for me to know when I need to take a break. I have to set healthy boundaries with them. Because as much as I love them and I want to pour into them—they see all of me: the good, the bad, the ugly—I have to separate myself sometimes and say, “Okay, I'm an adult; let me do adult things.

These kids saved my life. I would not be this person if it weren’t for them. I was heavy into the club scene, but when I got pregnant with Asha, it changed; it was different. Stop the press. Let's figure that out—you need to stop because they need a mother. They don't need somebody just coming in here and cooking, cleaning, and leaving. They need a mother.

Tell me about your happy moments/triumphs.

We left a really bad relationship and my greatest moment was when we finally moved out. We finally left that, you know, cut ties. For us to be in a new home, to feel safe, and for us to begin the healing process.

What wishes or aspirations do you have for your children?

At first, I was like, “You're going to be a doctor or a lawyer.” I had to figure out what their dreams were. I want for them what they want; that's what I want for them.

Describe being a single parent in one word.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.